Refuah Shleimah - Rabbi Dovid Goldwasser

"Kakoton, kagadol tishme`un" - "Small and great alike shall
you hear" (when in court, the judge must treat the great and
small equally)..." (Devarim 1:17)

The Panim Yafos explains this verse, referring to another verse in
the Book of Job (3:19): "Katon v`gadol sham hu" — "The small and the
great are equal there".

Rashi explains that in the Next World, it is
recognizable who is great and who is small. In this world, however, we
don`t know for sure who is great and who is small. We can only surmise
someone`s spiritual level. That is why the verse says: Kakoton, Kagadol
— like someone who is small and like someone who is great.

The Panim Yafos teaches us an important lesson in life. Oftentimes
we make a quick assessment of who is great and who is not. The truth is
that we can never tell. Even if a person appears to us to be on the lowest
rung, he may, in truth, be someone who is on the highest level or has the
latent potential to become great. Sometimes, we may judge a person as
small, not realizing that he may be great.

One afternoon, I received a call from a man who informed me that
a teenage girl, who was in desperate need of a transplant, was coming in
from Eretz Yisrael. She had no insurance, no funds, no assistance, and
no extended family. He requested that I meet together with him and her
immediate family who would be accompanying her.

After being filled in on some more details, I agreed to meet the
following Sunday after the family`s arrival in New York. That Sunday
afternoon, as we sat around the table, I observed the family, probably
similar to any other family in Klal Yisrael. However, there was one
difference. They desperately needed a refuah for this young lady who
was suffering from a serious illness and in need of a transplant. I
assisted them in mapping out a strategy.

For some reason, the family, while being polite, maintained a
distance. I assumed it was because of all the emotional upheaval that
this family was currently dealing with. Ronit herself looked down
towards the floor. She seemed to be a very special young lady, but the es-

sence of her personality was certainly not visible at this time. The faint
glimmer of a smile that occasionally flitted across her face as everyone
sat around discussing her life situation spoke of a depth of her neshama.

After discussing a plan, I assured them that I would work together
with them and asked that they be in touch within the next few days.
They agreed. We concluded our one-hour meeting on that note, and they
went on their way.

A few days passed and I didn`t receive any phone call. I assumed
that they were extremely busy acclimating themselves to the U.S.,
finding accommodations, and making the other necessary arrangements.

When two weeks passed, however, and I still hadn`t heard from
them, I began to wonder why they were not calling. They had made the
initial contact, and I had no telephone number for them. I had no way of
contacting them. Where could I even begin to inquire about their
whereabouts?

The weeks went by and I became worried. What had happened to
the family? Why hadn`t they called back? Had they been unable to make
any arrangements? Was Ronit okay?

It seemed doubtful to me that I would ever hear from them. The
only connection I still had was the small piece of paper on my shtender
with the name Ronit bas Miriam that I had remembered to take down
when I met the family. At least I could continue to pray for her
well-being.

Several months went by. By this time I had all but given up hope of
ever finding out what had happened to this family. Out of the blue, I
received a phone call from the same man who had originally contacted
me about this family a half year earlier. I was joyous to hear his voice
and anxiously anticipated hearing a progress report.

Instead, the man requested another meeting with the family. An
appointment was arranged, and once again we all sat together at the
table.

I inquired how things were going, and what had been done. The
family looked even more downcast than the first time. They told me that
they had not made any progress since our last meeting.

I could no longer refrain from asking them, "Why didn`t you call
back all this time?"

Looking embarrassed, the mother replied, "The first time we came
to meet you, we had no idea that we would be meeting with a religious
person. After we saw how religious you were, we thought that you would
not help irreligious people like us. So we didn`t bother you anymore. Just
two days ago, we called the person in Israel who had originally
suggested that we come to you. He asked me if we had met with you, and
I told him that we had, but when we saw that you were a dati, we
realized that we were at the wrong address.

"The man answered, `You were not at the wrong address. That`s
where I told you to go, and he will help you. It doesn`t matter to him
whether you are dati or not.` He commanded us to go back to you, and so
here we are."

I could not believe my ears. Stereotypes are dangerous. They can
even prevent us from allowing us to help one another. I felt bad that
Ronit had waited half a year in pain because of a misperception.

We again mapped out a strategy and began working immediately
on several fronts. Ronit was placed on a waiting list to be the recipient of
a transplant, and necessary treatments were begun at a local health
facility. Torah askanim in the community provided the family with food
and clothing and living quarters were graciously provided at a very low
rent. The Jewish people are truly rachmanim bnei rachmanim
(compassionate people). It seemed as though everyone was pitching in.

As soon as a new need arose, there was a volunteer to take care of
that need. The chesed on any given day was awe-inspiring. An entire
team of Bais Yaakov students were involved with the family on a daily
basis. There was no shortage of volunteers who were willing to drive
Ronit to and from her treatments. The treatments themselves lasted for
a few hours and took a lot out of Ronit. She would return exhausted and
drained.

One of the drivers called me with the following sheilah (Halachic
question): It was her turn to drive Ronit back from treatment. On the
return trip, Ronit would usually rest on the back seat. That day, as
would sometimes happen, Ronit fell into a deep sleep. The driver had
reached Ronit`s apartment, and waited an hour for Ronit to awaken.
However, it was apparent that Ronit was in a deep stage of sleep and it
would be quite a while longer before she would wake up. The driver
wanted to know if it would be "stealing sleep" to wake her up and move
her to a much more comfortable resting place. Or, should she not disturb
her and let her sleep in the car? The driver emphasized that she was
happy to wait for as long as it would take so that Ronit could rest in
comfort and peace.

As the weeks went by, Ronit became acquainted with some of the
students. They engaged in discussions. They talked about everything —
life, Torah, mitzvos, and the girls were beginning to have an impact on
Ronit`s life. Ronit`s family as well was slowly undergoing a metamor-

phosis. The father began to attend the small shul in his neighborhood
every Shabbos. The groceries that were provided each week also
included Shabbos candles and the mother began to light Shabbos licht.

Truth be told, Ronit`s family had much hakoras hatov
(appreciation) to the Torah community for all they were doing. That
appreciation was turning into a great source of nachas for the Creator.
As the entire family progressed in their spiritual development, word
began to spread in the community of this family`s predicament. Tefillos
increased, and the name Ronit bas Miriam appeared on shtenders and
siddurim throughout the world.

I received a call early one morning from Ronit`s family.
Miraculously, a donor had been found. Ronit was scheduled for the
transplant the very next day. Baruch Hashem, the transplant was a
success. After weeks of recuperation, Ronit, along with her family, were
ready to return home to Israel with renewed spirit. Ronit and her entire
family had been given a second chance in life.

Many of the askonim who had been involved throughout the
months came to express their good wishes and blessings. Tears flowed
freely. Everyone felt an awakening for teshuvah.